Left behind: Stuart's Story
"I THOUGHT SUICIDE WOULD NEVER AFFECT ME – HOW WRONG WAS I"
Meet Stuart Falconer, a 46-year-old
self-employed father of two, from
St Alban’s.
Birthdays. Christmas. First day at University. Jobs. Marriage. And every milestone is another reminder to a bereaved parent of what they are missing, and what they have lost.
“I’ll always remember the boy who was curious, inquisitive, and always had a small on his face."
Tragically, Stuart lost his 15-year-old teenage son Morgan to suicide on May 5th, 2015.
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Mr Falconer shared custody of Morgan and his younger brother Jake, with his ex-wife at the time of the tragedy, said: “There is nothing someone could say or do to make my life any worse than what I have already been through.”
Morgan was a teenage pupil of Sandringham School in St Alban’s, Hertfordshire and was due to take his GCSE’s within the next month at the time of his death. New figures have revealed that rates of suicide in Hertfordshire are amongst the lowest in the country, despite the rate of suicides nationally being on the increase.
However, Stuart argues that in his experience he believes that many people both regionally and nationally don’t see suicide as being something which could affect them. He argues that this only leads to the continuation of pre-existent taboo’s and stigma’s surrounding male suicide and male mental health.
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"I THOUGHT SUICIDE WOULD NEVER AFFECT ME – HOW WRONG WAS I"
Meet Stuart Falconer, a 46-year-old
self-employed father of two, from
St Alban’s.
Birthdays. Christmas. First day at University. Jobs. Marriage. And every milestone is another reminder to a bereaved parent of what they are missing, and what they have lost.
“I’ll always remember the boy who was curious, inquisitive, and always had a small on his face."
Tragically, Stuart lost his 15-year-old teenage son Morgan to suicide on May 5th, 2015.
​
Mr Falconer shared custody of Morgan and his younger brother Jake, with his ex-wife at the time of the tragedy, said: “There is nothing someone could say or do to make my life any worse than what I have already been through.”
Morgan was a teenage pupil of Sandringham School in St Alban’s, Hertfordshire and was due to take his GCSE’s within the next month at the time of his death. New figures have revealed that rates of suicide in Hertfordshire are amongst the lowest in the country, despite the rate of suicides nationally being on the increase.
However, Stuart argues that in his experience he believes that many people both regionally and nationally don’t see suicide as being something which could affect them. He argues that this only leads to the continuation of pre-existent taboo’s and stigma’s surrounding male suicide and male mental health.
​
"I THOUGHT SUICIDE WOULD NEVER AFFECT ME – HOW WRONG WAS I"
Meet Stuart Falconer, a 46-year-old
self-employed father of two, from
St Alban’s.
Birthdays. Christmas. First day at University. Jobs. Marriage. And every milestone is another reminder to a bereaved parent of what they are missing, and what they have lost.
“I’ll always remember the boy who was curious, inquisitive, and always had a small on his face."
Tragically, Stuart lost his 15-year-old teenage son Morgan to suicide on May 5th, 2015.
​
Mr Falconer shared custody of Morgan and his younger brother Jake, with his ex-wife at the time of the tragedy, said: “There is nothing someone could say or do to make my life any worse than what I have already been through.”
Morgan was a teenage pupil of Sandringham School in St Alban’s, Hertfordshire and was due to take his GCSE’s within the next month at the time of his death. New figures have revealed that rates of suicide in Hertfordshire are amongst the lowest in the country, despite the rate of suicides nationally being on the increase.
However, Stuart argues that in his experience he believes that many people both regionally and nationally don’t see suicide as being something which could affect them. He argues that this only leads to the continuation of pre-existent taboo’s and stigma’s surrounding male suicide and male mental health.
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“A lot of people think it's never going to happen to them - when are we going to stop avoiding the subject and talk about it."
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He adds, “I have to think though, if somebody had spoken to Morgan, if I had known that suicide was the biggest killer of men under the age of 45, maybe things would be different.”
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Recalling the last encounter with Morgan, Stuarts says he did not notice any unusual behaviour whilst sitting down over dinner as he usually did with Morgan and his younger brother Jake. In the months following Morgan’s death, Stuart says he spent many restlessness nights trying to work out why; why did Morgan take his own life? Why Morgan?
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“There was no indication what so ever, I have to guess I have to speculate, perhaps the fact I got divorced was the reason, he was due to go back to school the next day, so maybe he didn’t want to go back to school. He was due to study his exams the following week, maybe he didn’t want to do his exams – they are just maybes.”
Stuart also stressed how Morgan’s death had completely changed his social life, “People might start thinking I’m cold, because I’m not as interested in other people as I was before. When they start talking about trivial things, I zone out.”
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"I've been on antidepressants ever since it happened - I still don't sleep very well."
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Less than a year after Morgan’s tragic death, Stuart has set up The Ollie Foundation, which stands for ‘One Life Lost Is Enough’, with two other parents who lost their children to suicide. Stuart, Jane and Chris all set up the charity with the aim of preventing any other parent in the local area of going through the trauma that they have been through.
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"It's never going to be the same again, everything shifts. Everything you ever believed has shifted five degrees to the right. The way you meet people is different, your sleeping patterns change, your fear changes because of your other child. Everything is different."
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Ininitially, Stuart intended to organise a charity golf day to raise money for another organisation supporting suicide prevention, but then he realised that there was no specialist training in the Watford or St Alban’s area and sort out to change this.
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“Me and the other trustees are very much of the thinking that if we can do something to prevent other parents going through what we’ve been through, then that’s something, because if it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone.”
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Through regular fundraising, the three parents aim to deliver SafeTalktraining and ASIST to adults working with young people.
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MORE INFORMATION ON THE OLLIE FOUNDATIONS WORK CAN BE FOUND BELOW
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